My name is Serge and I will be auditioning for the part of Kicker [Wednesday, December 30th, 2009] punk_otoko Eugh, this is going to be a bastardized, condensed (lucky for you) version of what I had planned because I have to pull most of this shit from memory since my floppies aren't getting along with this machine. I hope everyone had a nice Christmas! Mine wasn't bad. I didn't have money to buy anyone gifts, though. That was sad. Fred got me an LA Galaxy jersey, yay, and some cool books. One of them is called I JUDGE YOU WHEN YOU USE POOR GRAMMAR. Excellent. It didn't stop him from texting me the night before with cop's in it, though. He got my mom a snuggie. Yes, he did! She almost killed herself putting it on, what with all the static. And I burned my finger pretty bad off it. Hey, last week Mexico City became the first city in all of Latin America to legalize gay marriage. Adoption rights and everything. This week, the Catholic church has managed to stem the flow of shit they were bricking themselves with long enough to cry foul. With, oh, you know, the usual. Gay marriage is an aberration. They shouldn't be allowed to adopt children because they expose them to sexual perversity. My hat is big and funny looking. I just touched that altar boy. The Archbishop of Morelia went so far as to say homosexuals were beneath dogs, even. It was something to the effect of, "Even two male dogs know not to have sex with each other. Normally this kind of thing doesn't happen in nature." Never mind that there are over 400 species around the world that exhibit homosexual behavior. I don't need any more reasons to dislike the Catholic church, but I so wish I was in Mexico. I would be on a shit-smearing campaign to end shit-smearing campaigns. Oh, and I cannot put into words the savage pleasure I feel everytime I see the clip of that broad tackling the Pope. That's not even related to this, I just plain don't like him. Lor! They fucked up and instead of saying "coming soon" on a promo for Perro Amor, it said January 11th. That means Niños Ricos is over on the 8th! I will be very, very sad. Sure, there will be other novelas, boys and girls. But not like this one. Not like this one. Those Colombians, they really knocked Mexico on its ass with this one. At least Camaleones and Atrevete a Soñar are coming from Mexico sometime soon. And with Pee Wee and Eleazar Gomez in them, respectively, I'm sure I can get into that shiz. Oh, and thanks for the Christmas card, Lor. The part about the reprogramming camp? Loved it. I can honestly say I've never gotten a Christmas card with the words gay or cock in it before. So..kudos? I wish I could afford to get you something this year. But you know what? I got you Rebelde dolls this year. I am fucking golden. Whatever. That's it out of me for now. ¡Pásatelas super duuuper! I once made a vest out of your wife's underwear You think of one Serge [Reply] 2 [Comment] [Memories] [Edit ]

If I have to hear one more thing about Tiger Woods I shall scream [Thursday, December 17th, 2009] punk_otoko Before I forget: Hey, Lor. This Thursday on Univision they're having this Christmas special with some neato special guests. Among them, Pee Wee (Salinas, not Herman. You should know who I'm talking about by now) and suck it Archuleta. I mean David Archuleta. I know he's an adorable little half-breed and all, but I just realized I don't know if he speaks Spanish or not. I don't really care. I'll probably watch anyway. So be sure to check that out, or Youtube it at a later date. Also for you, Lesbian Girl Laura strikes again! Who did she done do this time? David's sister Lola! I forgot about her. Okay, now Diego really is the last kid who hasn't had sex. What the fuck, NR? I know I made peace last week with the fact that Santiago and Diego's relationship will probably go no further but now I'm kinda mad. They're a couple, dammit. None of the girls Laura has bedded has been a girlfriend or any serious relationship. Actually, Lola is the first girl Laura's bedded. When she got it on with Anaís it was in a tub. Oh, you bastards. Well, all right. Santi and Diego are looking for an apartment together. I don't care how good a good boy Diego is, you can't share an apartment with your boyfriend and not expect to get down. This isn't the last you'll be hearing about this. And yeah, I know Glee is over for now. My point was it will eventually be back and then I can watch, whereas Niños Ricos is gone for good soon. They've gone from telling us it's in its final weeks to final episodes. Who among you is up to the daunting task of cheering me with love squeezins? Non-sexual, please. Wowsers and shit! I have finally, after much hardship by means of bullshit, unlocked Sora as well as King Mickey in Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days. I've done all the mission mode missions already so I won't be able to do anything new with him. But you know what? I don't care. Sora still adds tremendously to this game's replayability. Also new in games, I bought The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks. Fun stuff. It's a little prettier than Phantom Hourglass, even though the gameplay is essentially the same. The main draw for me, unexpectedly, is the music! Oh, it's very pretty! A lot of woodwinds, very flutey. Hell, they even give you a pan flute that you actually have to blow into the microphone to play. Awesome. Of course, some of the soundtrack is the same tired shit we've had to listen to since Ocarina of Time, but even some of that is flute-ened up a bit. It sounds nice. Actually, what with the trains and such, the soundtrack has kind of a Western feel to it. Like, I expect to see injuns or something. Knowing Nintendo, they probably made the Goron tribe I'll undoubtedly run into in this game the injuns. Christmas time is here! The following is a list of things I would dearly love for Christmas: - A Doomsday device that looks like a Bumble Ball. - Serenity. The Spaceship. - Jayne's hat. - My two front teeth. - Gumby, dammit. - A pianica. - A movie that begins with, "In a world where love is against the law..." - A sandwhich of some sort. Preferably on honey oat bread but will also settle for wheat. - The electric accordion I haven't invented yet. - Kingdom Hearts poster I saw behind those enormous Jonas Bros. pins at FYE. - Those enormous Jonas Bros. pins (I know they're Jonas Bros., but they're pins, dammit. And they're fucking huge.) - Voltron. The actual robot. I want it. - I want it. - That rabbit in the window. - A picture of that bored guy from Rainbowland (See below) - Kyle XY DVDs. - Matt Dallas. - A shirt endorsing my endearment towards large rear ends coupled with my aversion to telling lies. - Something with the words "Bacony fresh" on it. - A hug. Call me greedy, but I like to dream big. Let me know if you can hook me up with one or more of those things. I'm also willing to trade for equal parts love. Hey, did anyone watch last week's SNL? It was the first one I've seen in a long time. Fred Armisen making Seth Meyers totally lose his shit during Weekend Update was excellent. I really need to start watching again. This week on Guau! they went to this shop in Mexico City's Zona Rosa called Rainbowland. A candy-coated, technicolor mess of gay. If mankind makes it, this store stocks it, and they slapped a rainbow on it. I found this story particularly interesting because the boy at the counter, instead of wearing something equally rainbowy, was in a gray hoodie and a black beanie amid all this color and looked like he was incredibly bored with the idea of a store that sells rainbow everything. He is my new hero. And I think that's it. See you next week. ¡Pásatelas super duuuper! I will not hesitate to beat your ass with your own shoe! More chips than Chips Ahoy! Serge [Comment] [Memories] [Edit ]

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